As I sit down to write today having just dropped my son off at school, my thoughts are drawn to how different my life would be right now if I were still drinking.
And how different my son’s life would be.
This morning started earlier than normal which was a shame because I had a very interrupted sleep. My son had been very restless during the night due to a nagging cough and I kept having to check on him.*
Now, the reason I was having my earlier thought was because I was imagining how this morning would have played out if I had been hungover.
The hangovers I experienced towards the end of my drinking ‘career’ were horrendous – I guess that’s because I would often drink more to try to get drunk – and this morning would have been a stressful nightmare if I’d been drinking the night before.**
Hangovers and kids do not mix.
Hangovers, lack of sleep, a kid with a cough and an early start do not mix.
Thankfully, that wasn’t a problem for me this morning.
Is this a problem you experience?
I made a choice not to drink anymore.
And one of the reasons was because of my son.
This morning reinforced once again that the decision I made has been the correct one.
- I don’t want my son to see me drunk
- I don’t want my son to see me hungover
- I want him to know that his Dad is always there to keep him safe
- I want to be able to drive if needed for any reason
- I don’t want to rely on booze when I’m stressed
- I want to provide my son with a strong and positive role model
- I want to lead by example
These are just seven benefits of me being a Sober Dad. I will elaborate on more points in future articles.
The last couple are very important.
You see, this morning could have been a disaster if I were still drinking but instead it was just another morning.
And here in lies the question for you, loyal readers:
Is your alcohol use affecting your kids?
Now, before you answer that, you need to consider that you may not actually know the answer…
You may not see what effect it is happening on them at this very moment, but that’s the point – your alcohol use may be affecting them internally. And it may continue to do so in the future.
So, let’s concentrate on what you can answer now.
Q: Would you have been fit to drive last night if your child(ren) needed to go to the hospital?
Q: How angry would you have been if you were woken up early this morning by your child(ren)?
Q: Do your kids regularly see you drunk? What are you like when you’re drunk?
Q: Do hangovers affect your mood for most of the day?
These are just a few questions you should take your time to consider.
As Dads, it is our job to protect our kids, provide for them, be a positive role model and someone who sets a good example and preside over our households with strength, love and respect.
All of these are hard to do when you’re always drunk.
Life would definitely be different for me and my son if I were still drinking – and not in a good way.
I’m grateful to be sober.
I’m grateful my son gets to see me sober.
I’m grateful to be truly present in my son’s life.
I’m grateful that I don’t have to deal with hangovers anymore.
I’m grateful that I’m never going to be drunk when he really needs me.
And I’m grateful for other Dads who have chosen to beat the booze and step up for their kids.
The greatest gift we can give our kids is our presence and it’s hard to do that if we’re too drunk to give it.
Thank you for reading. I will be back with some more Sober Dad talk another time.
If you’re struggling to overcome your heavy alcohol use, please reach out.
Take care and #KeepInspiring,
Roscoe @ DMT
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*He was well enough to go to school
**For context, I’m over three and a half years sober